walking into a library and banging into a bookcase with a wand
by a very potter parody
Summary: Sirius and James seem to believe their respective lovers are doing what the title says. / drabble, T for innuendo


**AN: If I'm honest, I'm quite happy with this drabble. It's less stupid than my other work.**

* * *

"Padfoot!"

A couple of seconds passed before Sirius' face appeared in the mirror, with a girl behind him.

"_What_?"

"Ditch the girl- you're cheating too?" The look on James' face was crestfallen (an expression Sirius was used to; he'd seen it enough times when James was rejected by Lily).

James watched Sirius casually get rid of the girl before he turned his face back to the magical mirror.

"No, you sentimental twit, it's just another hopeful waiting for me to switch back to the other team. I'm gay, for Merlin's sake, can't they get over it?"

"Oh. Okay. Well, come to the library."

"The _library_? I already set foot in there last year when you were trying to get Evans- I can't be seen in there twice, mate, it'll ruin my reputation."

"Oh, shut up! We're being _cheated on_!"

"_What_? Sweet Merlin- I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Yeah."

"Mischief Managed." They said together, and the mirrors faded back to tarnished steel.

* * *

"_I solemnly swear I am up to no good,_" Sirius whispered.

"It's my turn to keep it next week- you, Moony and Wormy have been hogging it all year. It's never there when I need to avoid Mellissa."

"Mate, it's not your fault she took you siriusly- pun intended."

"Shut up. I thought she knew I only used her to make Lils jealous! And it worked!"

"Meh. Still your fault. Okay, no hot girls on the passageway through there…"

"Padfoot, you're gay!"

"So? I like the attention. It makes my brother jealous."

"You're such a git."

"You love me anyway."

"As if."

"Okay…see? We're being _cheated on_!"

They peered through the door to the 'Seventh Years Only' section.

"Oh…Remus, that was _amazing!_" Lily's voice floated through, sounding…well…excited.

"Are you sure? Did I hurt you? It's my first time…I didn't really know what I was doing." Remus replied.

"No, it was so incredible! I just banged into the bookcase corner…your thing came so fast. Can we do that again sometime?" Lily asked.

"…Lily-flower?" James gasped.

"…Remy?" Sirius double-gasped.

"Oh! Hi, guys!"

"Lily…I can't believe you cheated on me!" James moaned. "With- with Padfoot's boyfriend!"

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, eyes narrowed.

"We heard you, Remy!" Sirius bemoaned. "Right after you...well…went into the library and banged into the bookcase with the wand!"

_Really? _James mouthed.

_Yep. _He mouthed back, before continuing with his speech. "You're banging into James' girlfriend's bookcase with your wand in her library, mate! That's wrong!"

"Yes, because we were doing DADA!"

"What? No- we heard you! Remus' thing came so fast…it's his first time…it was- it was amazing…" James sobbed. "I can't believe you'd do this…"

"For your information, we were working on the essay. 'Discuss the after-effects of sixteen different hexes'? So we were trying them out to see the effects," Lily snapped.

"But…"

"Look," Remus said. "Lily said it was amazing because it was a past-N.E.W.T. speeding hex. I did it a bit too strongly so it knocked her off and she banged into the bookcase when she tried to walk."

"And I want to do it again because it's so useful. Hang on…I bet they're magically filming this so they can embarrass me on my 21st!" Lily accused.

"Well…you caught us!" James lied.

"Yep…I guess the game's up, Padfoot."

"Ah well."

"Let's go our separate ways-"

"With our separate lovers."

"Bye!" they both announced, grabbing their respective significant others and speeding away in opposite directions.

* * *

"You won't show that at my 21st, will you?" Lily asked later that night, laying her head on his chest.

"Course not."

"You'll show it at my 18th, won't you?"

"Yep."

"Ugh..." she muttered, rolling away and stretching. "I hate you."

"You love me really, Lils."

"I really don't."

"Whatever you say, Lils."

"Exactly."

"Well, we can see who's the dominant one in _this _relationship." Sirius smirked.

"Where did you come from? Go away, I'm sleepy." James muttered.

"Meh. Prongs, darling, you love me really."

"Yeah, that's right…I'm having these…feelings…I want to go into your library and bang into your bookcase with my wand." James said, smirking back.

"Never gonna let that go, are you?"

"Nope."


End file.
